The secret life of Walter mitty is a real problem

     Walter Mitty wasn’t paying attention. He simply wasn’t engaged in the real world. He didn’t hear (or notice) much of what was going on around him.
The problem was the story in his head was better than real life. Or so he thought.      When he finally wakes up, he realizes he missed so much. If only he had been paying attention… listening.
     As someone who tends to go off on thinking tangents ala Walter Mitty, I have missed my fair share of connections, opportunities, and warning signs.
     I once had a friend; we'll call her Sharon. Sharon was telling me how she regretted

​​marrying her husband, she felt they were a bad fit or something, I don't really know, I wasn't paying attention. Sharon and I aren't friends anymore. She divorced her husband too.  Apparently Listening is important.
     Oh, I cared about my friend, and I didn’t want to see her suffer, but she had no way to know that because I was oblivious to the details of her life. The worst part is I was probably thinking about something mundane like how many babies can a mouse give birth to in its lifetime?
     I can’t begin to count the number of times someone has been talking to me and my mind wandered. It’s almost always something unimportant, but there I go thinking about my itchy sweater and how I should have worn the blue one because it doesn’t itch while my neighbor is telling me how she got in a fender bender last week and … well I don’t know the rest because I wasn’t paying attention.
Then said neighbor mentions how she’s been showing everyone the picture of her and The Rock, and I must ask, “When did you meet The Rock?” and she says “Remember I was in that fender bender with him?" Oh, man, I should have paid attention to that one!
     Listening is also important for personal growth and development. Seriously, at some point we have to be honest with ourselves and admit we need to learn stuff.  It allows us to learn from others' experiences instead of learning everything the hard way.
     Listening is also critical for effective communication. I can't count the number of times I was misunderstood, because I had half the conversation in my head, and thought I had said it out loud. Fortunately, it happens less often these days. But it does still happen from time to time.  Didn’t I tell you to turn left 35 miles back?
     My husband has the patience of a saint. No really, he does.
    Paying attention allows us to understand and relate to the feelings of others, which can lead to greater understanding and compassion and connection. Something my friend Sharon didn't get from me, thus, she walked away from the friendship. Can't say I blame her. I lost out because I checked out. 

Read: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber
Watch: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947) This version is far superior to the 2013 version.