The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Paying Attention) is a Real Problem

     Walter Mitty wasn’t paying attention. He wasn’t tuned in to reality. He didn’t hear or notice much of what was happening around him.
     The problem? The story in his head was better than real life. Or so he thought.
     When he finally wakes up, he realizes just how much he’s missed. If only he had been paying attention… listening.
     As someone prone to Walter Mitty-style thinking tangents, I can confirm zoning out has cost me my fair share of connections, opportunities, and warning signs.
     Take my friend—let’s call her Sharon. Sharon once told me she regretted marrying her husband. She felt they were a bad fit. Or something. I don’t really know... I wasn’t paying attention. We aren’t friends anymore.     
​     She divorced her husband too. Apparently, listening is important.

      It’s not that I didn’t care about my friend, I truly did. I hated seeing her struggle. But she had no way of knowing that, because I was oblivious to the details of her life. The worst part? I was probably off thinking about something ridiculous, like how many babies a mouse can have in its lifetime, (hundreds!)
     I couldn’t tell you the number of times someone has been talking to me while my mind wandered off to something profoundly unimportant. My itchy sweater, for instance. Why didn’t I wear the blue one? It doesn’t itch. Meanwhile, my neighbor was telling me about her fender bender last week, and—well, I don’t know the rest, because I wasn’t paying attention.
     Then she mentions how she’s been showing everyone her photo with The Rock.
     Wait—what?
     "When did you meet The Rock?" I ask.
     She stares. “Remember? I was in that fender bender with him?"
     Oh. Oh no. I really should have been paying attention to that one.
     Listening is also crucial for personal growth. At some point, we all have to admit we need to learn things. And learning from other people's experiences is way better than learning everything the hard way.
  It's also critical for communication. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been misunderstood, probably because I had half the conversation in my head and thought I had said it out loud. Thankfully, this happens less often these days. But it does still happen.
     Didn’t I tell you to turn left 35 miles back?
     (My husband has the patience of a saint. No, really, he does.)
    Paying attention helps us understand others, relate to their emotions, and build genuine connections. Sharon didn’t get that from me, and she walked away from our friendship.
     Can’t say I blame her.

Read: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber
Watch: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947) This version is far superior to the 2013 version.