PARENTING REGRETS AREN’T HELPING YOU: NO REGERTS?

       Have you seen the old commercial with the tattoo artist eating a candy bar while working on a big guy who looks down at his brand-new tattoo with shock and asks, “NO REGERTS?”.
       The tattoo artist, looks at the guy a bit puzzled, then casually apologizes for being in a daze whilst eating her delicious snack, like she was oblivious to the whole thing. I’m sure what happens next is pretty interesting. 
          Parenting is kinda the same experience.
     We have a baby and begin parenting under the daze of the shiny new experience. Sure, we may bring along some unhelpful parenting techniques that were used on us, but our intentions are good.              
        So, with glazed eyes we run to buy the baby rearing books, go to the classes, call the moms and friends for advice and everything is just wonderful… until it isn’t.

          At some point we realize that something isn’t working quite the way we had hoped.
      Maybe it begins as a fussy baby or tantruming toddler or it starts with a teacher, parent or caregiver telling us how we should be using “more consistent boundaries/rules”, or the pressure of “He should know how to do that by now”.  Whatever it was, it was the first sign that this was going to be harder than we thought.
        Before we knew it, we had testing, parenting suggestions, more books, and a plethora of diagnostic theories thrown at us.
         Either way, we find ourselves in the universe of parenting a child, where many of the old rules and ideas need to be adjusted, rearranged or just thrown out. As a result, we begin a journey of trial and error…
            We find therapies.  Some work, some don’t.
            We try charts and we watch videos.
            Friends send us articles.
            We buy more books.
         As we start to find our way and begin to work things out (or in some cases, sink into a feeling of helplessness) the thought eventually comes…
            What could I have done better?
             Was I too strict, or too lenient?
             WHYYYY did I feed her soooo much gluten?!?
                                                      REGERTS?
          It’s a terrible little creep I like to call Regerts, who lives in the dark recesses of your memories.
           But I am here to tell you…
           It’s time for him to leave.
           Kick him out!
           If you knew better, you would have done better.
        Remember, we create our own monsters, and your life is already full, you don’t need more to worry about.
           So, write him a letter, burn an effigy, or just say goodbye to Regerts.
           This journey is full of things to take up our precious time and energy.
            Choose how you want to spend it.
            Leave no room for things that aren’t helpful.
            When in doubt, you tell that little monster… NO REGERTS!!
          Accept that parenting is hard and full of opportunities to make mistakes and correct course, No… regrets!
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