TRUST: It ain't easy

     I’m wired for anxiety. In other words, I’m really good at worrying and coming up with worst-case scenarios—WCSs, if you will.
     Not only was I blessed with an amazing ability to feel anxiety, but I also have a vivid and creative imagination.
     Not always a great combination. 
     The problem with anxiety and fear?
​     It makes you difficult to be around.

     Anxiety tends to make a person short-tempered, nervous, and agitated. Not to mention what it does to your memory and ability to think logically. (What was I just doing? Where did I put my phone? Why did I walk into this room?)
     So why so much anxiety?
   Anxiety comes from fear. Fear comes from not feeling safe. And lack of safety? That comes from not trusting yourself or others.
     Now that’s a conundrum.
    You may say, "I’ve screwed up so much—I know I can’t trust myself." Or, "People have lied to me—I can’t trust people."
     The problem with this kind of thinking is it traps you in a cycle—you start believing that you or others are simply not worthy of trust.
     Trust can be hard for anyone, but especially for those of us wired for anxiety. And yet… if you want less anxiety, you have to start somewhere.
     That "somewhere" is you.
     You cannot trust others if you don’t trust yourself.
     Yep, you must learn to trust yourself.
    Start by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses—know where you can trust yourself and where you need input from someone with strengths in that area.
     For example, I’m great at getting things done, knowing where things are, organizing, and seeing the big picture. BUT… I’m not great at balancing my bank account, tracking spending, or handling the finer details.
     So, instead of pretending I’ve got it all together, I humbly admit my weaknesses—both to myself and, in my case, to my husband. I let him guide me in those areas, not because I want to hand off the responsibility, but because he’s good at them, and I am not.
     I trust him to do well because I’ve seen it over and over—just like I trust myself in the areas I know I excel, because I’ve seen myself succeed over and over.
     To do this, I had to humble myself. I had to admit where I was weak—but first, I had to acknowledge where I was strong.
     The point isn’t to tear myself down or build myself up on some imaginary pedestal. It’s to get grounded—in reality, humility, and confidence.
     And that’s not easy.
     Why?
     Vulnerability.
​     Vulnerability requires trust, and for those of us who’ve spent a lifetime struggling with trust, it can feel impossible.
     But it’s worth the work.
    Vulnerability not only requires willingness, but also a sense of safety--the knowledge that you can protect your own heart.
     And how do you do that? By knowing your strengths and weaknesses, so you can trust yourself.
     It’s worth the work. But it ain’t easy.

                Check out the video below for a great talk on vulnerability!