Dragon Slaying

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​     When I was a teenager, I did a horrible thing. (not the kind of thing that would get me arrested, but if I told you, you would definitely think it was horrible). As soon as I did it, I felt bad. Really bad. I couldn’t see it at the time because my head was in a bad place, and I was experiencing horrific anxiety and panic which clouded and distorted my thinking and decision-making. But in retrospect, I knew it was bad.
     At the time I didn’t understand what was driving my behavior. I also didn’t know that I would never do a thing like that again. BUT… I did do other things I’m not proud of. I lied, I cheated, I hurt people deeply, I betrayed people. To be clear, it’s not that I did those things to be mean; I did them because at the time, I didn’t know a better way, and as a result, I temporarily justified my behavior.
     Why am I sharing this? Because I want others to know what I didn’t know then.
     The guilt and remorse began to grow. My thoughts were like a dragon that grows from hatchling to a large all-consuming beast. It began to take up all the space in my head. I felt like I was worthless, a cost to society, a drag on my family and friends. What was the point if I was just making the world a horrible place? The beast was taking over.
     The mythical dragon, grew big and dark, terrifying me daily, waking me in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and convincing me that I was a horrible, terrible person.
     Instead of talons and fangs, my dragon had ‘what if’s’ and ‘why’s.’
Why did I do the thing? What if I…”         Well, I don’t need to tell you how it goes if you have been suffering at the hands of your own mythical being.
     Wait. Did you catch that? Your own mythical being…
     It’s yours, because you created it from an anxiety driven imagination. That’s right, imagination.
     But you don't need the dragon to keep telling you how awful you are, you already know the behavior was awful. But you don't yet know, it's not you, it's the behavior that is awful. YOU can learn and move beyond the behaviors.
     The dragons (your thoughts and fears) are only there to prevent you from moving forward and actually becoming the good person you were meant evolve into. Good people are not born; they are created by the act of learning. 
     A horrible person NEVER questions whether or not what they did is wrong. They don’t ask themselves if they have hurt others or did a bad thing. They don’t inquire as to the moral and spiritual consequences of their behavior.
     Only a person with a good heart and a redeemable spirit thinks about those things.
     The dragons are only created when we don’t understand the nature of the dragons. We think the dragons (our anxious thoughts) are real... we think the dragons speak truth. But they don't; they tell lies, and those lies trap us in a world of constant torture and self-punishment that never ends and never lets us grow. Thus, blocking our ability to move forward, learn from the experience, and actually become better people.
     When we get stuck in the self-flagellation of the believe that we are no good, we cannot move forward and forgive ourselves, and we cannot heal. When we punish ourselves or believe we must be punished, we make it so we cannot begin behaving and acting as our better selves. Our spiritual growth is stunted by believing the myth created by what our frightened minds tells us.

     But what if we pull the rug out from under the dragon? What if we peek behind the curtain of our creative but anxious mind and see that it is just a creation of our imagination?
     We think that because we behaved badly or did things under duress, that means that we are unredeemable, but it is just a story our brains make up out of anxiety and fear.
     We fear we will mess up again... and we might.
     We are anxious that we cannot trust ourselves to always do the right thing... and we can’t.
     As humans we have free will, and that free will allows us to make a lot of stupid mistakes.
     Why then would we be allowed to have free will? Because, with free will we get to choose whether or not we will LEARN from our mistakes.
     And yes, some of us, me included, will have to make a lot of mistakes, some repeated, some new, before we learn and move on to the next life lesson. But each time I choose to ignore the stupid mythical dragon that holds me down and instead learn as much as I can from the mistake, I get better.
     If I choose to give in to the idea that I am horrible, bad, or unredeemable, then I will make it so.
     Accepting that we made the mistakes we made, and that we do not like them and don’t want to be that kind of person... is the first step in becoming the better person we were created to be.
     Knowing that I must make a choice to learn from those experiences is the key to becoming a better person.
     While I know I will always make mistakes and I will still sometimes feel remorse and regret for choices I made, accepting and choosing to learn does something amazing after a while... I actually get better at making good choices and doing the right thing.
     Little miracles begin to happen more and more often as I see the good in others, and in myself.
     I now understand that we are all flawed and subject to our free will, which sometimes allows us to be greedy, selfish and cruel, but it also allows us to slay our own dragons, and one-by-one, we see they are just myths that are holding us back.
     As we move forward, we notice we are growing, not the dragons.  Sometimes we stumble and fall, but as we choose to forgive and learn, the dragons shrink and eventually turn to dust.
     And then... maybe someday we write about it, and we actually help someone else slay their dragons. 



Nerdy Notes: 
                                    Myth of Slaying Dragons and Overcoming Negative Beliefs
     Many myths and stories feature the theme of slaying dragons as a metaphor for overcoming internal struggles, fears, and negative beliefs. One prominent example is the tale of Baba Yaga.
 
                                     The Baba Yaga Tale
     The Hero's Journey: In many versions of Baba Yaga's story, a young hero must face the witch Baba Yaga, often depicted as a dragon-like figure. This journey symbolizes self-discovery and the confrontation of one's fears.
     Facing Fears: Baba Yaga represents the negative beliefs and fears that hold individuals back. To triumph, the hero must confront her directly, illustrating the necessity of facing rather than avoiding one’s challenges.
     Transformation: In confronting Baba Yaga, the hero often learns valuable lessons about courage, resilience, and the truth of their own abilities. This transformation reflects the idea that overcoming negative beliefs can lead to personal growth.
                                       Other Examples
1. The Hero’s Quest of Perseus
Overview: Perseus must slay the Gorgon Medusa to save his mother, overcoming the belief that he is unworthy of heroism.
Symbolism: The act of confronting Medusa serves as a metaphor for overcoming paralyzing fears and doubts, transforming them into strengths.
2. The Legend of St. George
Overview: As previously mentioned, St. George's battle with the dragon also symbolizes overcoming evil and despair, which can be interpreted as negative thoughts or limiting beliefs.
Symbolism: The dragon represents internal demons and slaying it signifies triumph over self-doubt and fear.
Conclusion
These myths illustrate how the act of slaying dragons serves as a powerful metaphor for confronting negative beliefs and fears. By facing these internal challenges, we can achieve personal growth and transformation.

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